Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Oncoming Storm, the Madman With A Box

When I went off to college I made some new friends, with new interests and new, um...obsessions...

And one of these obsessions grabbed hold of me and is determined not to let go.

This one.
Also this.
Aaaaaand this.
Doctor Who - one of the most influential, popular, and downright fantastic television shows to come out of the UK. It spans more than forty years, and because of that the Doctor (the main character, you know) must regenerate into a new man, a new face, and travel around the galaxy on the TARDIS, his spaceship - gah, you know what, just trust me. It's good.  And I like it.  I like it a lot.

So much I had to procure myself a Sonic Screwdriver, the Doctor's weapon of choice (and by weapon I mean a screwdriver that is sonic).The Doctors above are the Ninth, Tenth, and Eleventh incarnation of the original man. Nine and Ten have the same device, a sexy silver screwdriver, but Eleven's is different - all nice and steampunk.

But Nine has always been my favorite Doctor, so I decided to get his - and Ten's of course.

And so I ordered one. And I waited...

And I waited...

And I waited...

But today it came!  My excitement was obvious!

I rushed to the mailbox to claim my prize - which I will say was dropped of not by the mail lady but by the Doctor.  He just couldn't stick around long enough to say hello.


sdlfghealrkflakjeh;H;RKGJSHR - wait, hold on...

SLIGUESRHLEHSRLGUA;ueha;oguah;EH;GODHG;SERJ; - but is that...
That is the Tenth and Eleventh reincarnations of the Doctor on the package for the screwdriver of Nine and Ten.


For some reason fewer people like Nine, but to not put him on the package of his own screwdriver is a little mean.

But none of you really care about that but me, so MOVING ON.

I am very excited.  I tried to Sonic my dogs to make sure they weren't alien life forms, but Goren just ran away.

I think that means he's a martian.


Monday, June 20, 2011

I am going to rename my dog.

This one.
His name is Goren.  For now.

I plan on renaming him Snorty BigHead though.  For several good reasons, not just because I'm quite fond of the name (which I am).

When Goren gets particularly perturbed he makes an odd noise with his nose.  You can tell it's a bothered noise, one he makes when something has gone horribly awry.  And for Goren, pretty much everything goes wrong every day.  He's not the most stable dog in the world.  He's afraid of round things and cell phones when they're on vibrate.  It would be hilarious if - no, wait, it IS hilarious!

He was making the weird snorty noise a lot the other day, because we tried to give him a hair cut.  He doesn't like change, aided by the fact that our dog shears are the noisiest contraption second only to a jumbo jet.  It was awesome (Read: horrifying).

Goren became so terrified that we finally had to let him go, halfway through his trim.  Now, normally we get a professional to cut his hair, but we weren't able to make an appointment this time.  With no prior dog-hair-cutting knowledge, Goren ended up looking like a weird Two-Face, except in tiny dog form.

Still-furry side...oh wait, TOTALLY SMOOTH.
And we didn't trim up any of his head, leading to an awkward, Two-Face Chibi Dog of Hilarity.

Now he's all out of proportion and I can't stop making fun of him even though he can't understand me.

Because he is a dog.  You know. Right. Anyway.

Like I said, he doesn't like change, so it might be a while before I can successfully get him to answer to Snorty BigHead, but I have time.  I am nothing if not patient.

I can wait.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The Nigh-Ungodly Heat May Be Causing Hallucinations.

It is hot today.  Very, very hot.

I think the weather man said it was record breaking, this heat.  (REALLY? I HADN'T NOTICED.)

I woke up this morning fully intending to exercise, or at least get some fresh air, but by the time I had gotten dressed and consigned myself to torturous repetitious lunges and push-ups and treadmills it was as hot inside as it was outside.  And but that I mean it was nearly 80 degrees in the house.

It's nearly 90 now.  Inside.  I asked my brother if the Gods of the Chill Wind were angry at us for something.  He collapsed and was unable to speak for the oppressive heat.  I suggested sacrificing a goat (they sell them on Craigslist apparently).

So now I sit in a pool of my own sweat, trying to prevent my dog from sitting on me and giving me heatstroke.  I try to watch television, but without cable my only options are shows about Judges like Judy or Alex or old black-and-white programs.

I tried to read, for a while. I tried to read The Lord of the Rings, but between the heat and Tolkien's very descriptive account of Lothlorien I began to imagine my house sitting in the middle of an Elven forest.  The leaves were gold and flowers bloomed everywhere and it was midwinter and I was actually cool.

Kind of like this.
And then I thought that perhaps I was going crazy.  "No, I can't be going crazy," I said to myself as Bilbo Baggins toasted me with Elrond.

My point is, it's really hot, and I don't know what to do except fill a grocery bag with ice cubes and lay it across my face.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

There and Back Again: A Short Girl's Tale, by Leonard.

Yesterday, in a fit of what I can only call madness, I decided to visit our creek. Not that it's actually our creek, not really; it winds its way through at least three different properties besides ours.  

Or, in actuality, I went because I am reading The Lord of the Rings.  But that has little to do with the rest of the post, mainly because the rest of the post is designed to make you jealous of my back yard. Through photographs.